How to Recognize When You Have a Subconscious Block
- Oct 25, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: May 8
How to Recognize When You Have a Subconscious Block
Most people, when they're stuck, assume the problem is effort. They need to work harder, plan better, be more disciplined, want it more. So they try harder. And the pattern continues.
What they don't consider is that the obstacle might not be on the surface at all.
A subconscious block is what happens when the part of your mind that runs 90 to 95 percent of your behavior has decided, for reasons that made sense at some point, that your goal is something to be avoided. Not consciously. The conscious mind is often completely sincere in its desire to move forward. But underneath it, the subconscious is running a different program. And as I've said many times, when those two are in conflict, the subconscious wins.
What a Subconscious Block Actually Looks Like
The tricky thing about a subconscious block is that it rarely announces itself as one. It tends to disguise itself as something more ordinary.
Procrastination is one of the most common disguises. The person has every intention of taking the next step. They know what needs to be done. They just keep finding reasons to do it later. The reasons feel legitimate in the moment. Research. Preparation. Waiting for the right time. But the right time never quite arrives.
Forgetfulness is another. Important tasks related to the goal get missed. Appointments get overlooked. Emails don't get sent. The person is often genuinely puzzled by this. They're not lazy or disorganized in other areas of life. Just this one.
And then there's the pattern that keeps repeating. The relationship that follows the same arc. The business that gets to a certain level and stalls. The weight that comes off and comes back. The same conversation that ends the same way every time.
When a pattern repeats despite genuine effort and genuine desire to change it, a subconscious block is almost always worth looking at.
The PhD Client Who Forgot How to Turn On Her Computer
I want to tell you about a client that illustrates this perfectly.
She was working toward her PhD and had been stuck on her dissertation for longer than she could easily explain. She had the intelligence, the research, the capability. What she didn't have was forward momentum. She kept finding reasons to delay. She rationalized it as needing more time, more sources, more preparation.
And then one morning she sat down at her computer and forgot how to turn it on.
That's when she came to see me.
In hypnosis, what emerged was something she hadn't consciously connected at all. She and her husband had an agreement: they would discuss the future of their marriage once she finished her PhD. The relationship had been strained for some time, and that conversation was one she was dreading.
Her subconscious had made a very clear association: finishing the dissertation meant having the conversation. Having the conversation meant the possible end of her marriage. And so, with the kind of illogical but internally consistent logic that the subconscious specializes in, it had been quietly ensuring she never finished.
It wasn't sabotage in any malicious sense. It was protection. The subconscious had decided that the dissertation was dangerous, and it was doing everything in its power to keep her away from it.
Once we identified what was actually happening and worked through the fear that was driving it, she moved forward with her dissertation without the resistance she'd been fighting for months.
The Concept of Secondary Gain
The PhD story is a good example of what's sometimes called secondary gain, which is when the subconscious is getting something out of the stuck pattern that it isn't willing to give up.
This isn't always as dramatic as a marriage on the line. Sometimes the secondary gain is subtler. Staying stuck in a job you hate means you never have to find out if you'd succeed at something you actually care about. Keeping weight on means you never have to find out how people treat you differently when you look a certain way. Not finishing the project means it can never be judged.
The subconscious isn't being difficult. It's being protective. It just hasn't thought through the full cost of the protection it's providing.
Signs Worth Paying Attention To
If you're genuinely trying to move forward in an area and something keeps getting in the way, here are some questions worth sitting with.
Do you set goals in this area repeatedly but rarely follow through, even when you have the time and resources?
Do you find yourself coming up with reasons to delay that feel legitimate in the moment but don't hold up to scrutiny?
Is there an uncomfortable feeling, a vague anxiety or resistance, when you think about actually achieving the goal?
Do tasks related to the goal get forgotten or deprioritized in ways that don't happen in other areas of your life?
These aren't signs of weakness or lack of discipline. They're often signs that the subconscious has a strong opinion about where this is headed, and it's worth finding out what that opinion is.
What We Do With a Subconscious Block
When I work with someone on a subconscious block, the first thing I'm looking for is what the block is protecting. What does the subconscious believe would happen if the goal were achieved? What is it afraid of? What is it trying to preserve?
Once we know that, we can work with it directly. We help the subconscious understand the full picture, including the cost of staying stuck, and we address whatever the underlying concern actually is. When the subconscious no longer has a reason to block the goal, the resistance tends to dissolve on its own.
The goal doesn't get easier because you try harder. It gets easier because the subconscious stops working against it.
Want to learn how to do this work with others?
The first two units of my hypnotherapy training are completely free.
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